Arthur's Ten Universal Laws of Chewies (2011)

A found chewy is better than an offered chewy

A new chewy is better than an old chewy

A chewy that can be destroyed is better than an impervious chewy.

A secret chewy is better than a public chewy.

The best kind of chewy combines these four qualities.

The best kind of chewy can be metallic, in which case it should ideally be sharp.

The best kind of chewy can be paper. Paper is partly chewy in virtue of its mysterious power to upset larger pack members.

The best kind of chewy can be plastic, in which case it should be swallowed.

When we unexpectedly come upon the best kind of chewy we shall trill and peform the chewy dance.

Certain special chewies, such as keys, have religious significance. We are not at liberty to discuss keys.